Well, our training with New Tribes Mission is coming to an end.
Tomorrow (today, by the time many of you read this...) Jen and I will be walking the aisle and recieving our diplomas. I will be getting my B.A. and Jen her A.A. in "Intercultural Communication". Sounds pretty cool, huh? Alot of time and work went into these, so we are proud to get them!
Within the next 3 days the majority of the people on campus will be leaving, and it is going to be quite empty around here.
Jen and I are going to start packing next week. Always fun. It would be nice to settle down for awhile in the same place, but that isn't going to happen for quite some time. Maybe one day...
But tomorrow we are going to enjoy our graduation with our friends, and we'll post some pictures so you can see us all dressed up! (I have to wear a tie and everything!)
Friday, May 19, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
For some bizarre reason...
...I started reading though the month of December on my blog this morning. I don't know what possesed me to do it. I don't think that I have really read through that since I wrote it several months ago. It was probably a good thing to re-visit. Life gets so very busy that it is easy, for me as a guy, to just "bury" what has happened and move on with life, without total healing. It has been less then 6 months that she has been gone...so it isn't like we are "over" it by a long shot.
It is good for me to remember this when I see Jen having a hard day. She is still living right in the middle of the pain. She is doing well, but we live on a very small campus, fewer then 100 students, and more then half of the married ladies are either carrying around infants or are pregnant.
(Hey multiply and replenish right? :-)
Since I don't hang out with the ladies as much, I am not inundated with conversation that goes along with pregnency and babies, so I tend not to notice our "empty arms" as much as she does.
So it was good this morning to "re-live" a little of what we went through, feel the emotions again, and just remember...
It is good for me to remember this when I see Jen having a hard day. She is still living right in the middle of the pain. She is doing well, but we live on a very small campus, fewer then 100 students, and more then half of the married ladies are either carrying around infants or are pregnant.
(Hey multiply and replenish right? :-)
Since I don't hang out with the ladies as much, I am not inundated with conversation that goes along with pregnency and babies, so I tend not to notice our "empty arms" as much as she does.
So it was good this morning to "re-live" a little of what we went through, feel the emotions again, and just remember...
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Seminar
The beginning of April, Jen and I went to an infant death seminar up in Wisconsin. When we were invited to go to this seminar I thought that it was going to be "professionals" in the field of grief and/or people who had lost infants, and I thought that they would be able to "logically" explain the things that we are feeling/going through......
It wasn't quite as we expected. The key-note speaker had lost a child in 1984 and it was good to see that you can still cry after so many years, but that you do get out of the despair that, so soon after Anarazell's death, we so often feel. You never get "over" it, but life still goes on, and we will go on with it.
It was good in the sense that we got to share with people who "know" what we are going through and feeling. We didn't know anyone personally that had lived through this same experience in order to talk about things with them. (In this past month we have meet a few people, but not in the beginning). So it was a "safe place to share" and in that aspect it was good.
When you are at something like this, there is a lot of crying going on, and Jen and I did my share as well, but the thing that broke my heart the most was the complete lack of hope that so many people had. That was the hardest thing for Jen and me.
*Back-flash*
Dec 9th, the morning that Jen and I said good-bye to our Anarazell, the doctors said that there was no rush for us to leave the room after she was gone. We could take as many hours as we wanted. They said that alot of people take pictures with their baby, give them baths and just "visit" with them for a while.
After Jen and I removed life support, Anarazell never breathed once, so "she" was only with us for a few minutes. After that we had her body, but she was, "Absent from the body...and present with the Lord".
I think we shocked the nurses because we laid her on her bed, covered her up with her blanket and walked out.
As heart-breaking as it was to leave the room we knew that we would see "her" once more...
At the seminar that hope was lacking, and was not offered. That broke our hearts. We would love to be involved in a seminar that was Christian focused.
Something that has the basis of..."You are in pain, you are hurting...let us lead you to the One who can truly comfort you, and give you the hope of seeing you little one again".
I don't even know how to go about finding out how to get involved in something like that. Maybe I'll do some researching. Something like that would be hard, but such a huge blessing.
Anyway...we are glad we went...
It wasn't quite as we expected. The key-note speaker had lost a child in 1984 and it was good to see that you can still cry after so many years, but that you do get out of the despair that, so soon after Anarazell's death, we so often feel. You never get "over" it, but life still goes on, and we will go on with it.
It was good in the sense that we got to share with people who "know" what we are going through and feeling. We didn't know anyone personally that had lived through this same experience in order to talk about things with them. (In this past month we have meet a few people, but not in the beginning). So it was a "safe place to share" and in that aspect it was good.
When you are at something like this, there is a lot of crying going on, and Jen and I did my share as well, but the thing that broke my heart the most was the complete lack of hope that so many people had. That was the hardest thing for Jen and me.
*Back-flash*
Dec 9th, the morning that Jen and I said good-bye to our Anarazell, the doctors said that there was no rush for us to leave the room after she was gone. We could take as many hours as we wanted. They said that alot of people take pictures with their baby, give them baths and just "visit" with them for a while.
After Jen and I removed life support, Anarazell never breathed once, so "she" was only with us for a few minutes. After that we had her body, but she was, "Absent from the body...and present with the Lord".
I think we shocked the nurses because we laid her on her bed, covered her up with her blanket and walked out.
As heart-breaking as it was to leave the room we knew that we would see "her" once more...
At the seminar that hope was lacking, and was not offered. That broke our hearts. We would love to be involved in a seminar that was Christian focused.
Something that has the basis of..."You are in pain, you are hurting...let us lead you to the One who can truly comfort you, and give you the hope of seeing you little one again".
I don't even know how to go about finding out how to get involved in something like that. Maybe I'll do some researching. Something like that would be hard, but such a huge blessing.
Anyway...we are glad we went...
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
We're Baaackk!
We made it...We are back in Missouri. The trip from Wisconsin down to here was, thankfully, totally uneventful.
As a "kid" I used to long for adventure, and then I was taught by a very wise man, "Never pray for adventure...adventure means that you are probably cold, and wet and scared!" (my paraphrase)
So now we are here and really have nothing much to do for the next couple weeks. We found out that we have enough credits to graduate so that is really cool. Graduation day is May 20th so we are just kinda hanging out until then. I am going to try to keep up with this blog and writing a news letter and all that good stuff.
Also we will be figuring out what our plans will be for the next several years.
At the beginning of April, right before we started our trip, we were told by the leadership here at L.I. that we should probably take some time off and get re-focused as a family. Since it has been only 5 months since the death of Anarazell we realize that it would be good for our family to take some time and heal a bit more and see where in ministry God wants us. It was a bit hard to hear that we should take some time off because we have been with New Tribes Mission since Jen and I got married almost 6 years ago. NTM has been our life and the focus of our plans for all these years, so to have it suddenly...gone...
We have been doing alot of praying, as well as many other people for us, and it looks like our life might be taking a completely different turn in direction from where we have been heading.
More on that later...
We are just happy to be in one place for a little while.
As a "kid" I used to long for adventure, and then I was taught by a very wise man, "Never pray for adventure...adventure means that you are probably cold, and wet and scared!" (my paraphrase)
So now we are here and really have nothing much to do for the next couple weeks. We found out that we have enough credits to graduate so that is really cool. Graduation day is May 20th so we are just kinda hanging out until then. I am going to try to keep up with this blog and writing a news letter and all that good stuff.
Also we will be figuring out what our plans will be for the next several years.
At the beginning of April, right before we started our trip, we were told by the leadership here at L.I. that we should probably take some time off and get re-focused as a family. Since it has been only 5 months since the death of Anarazell we realize that it would be good for our family to take some time and heal a bit more and see where in ministry God wants us. It was a bit hard to hear that we should take some time off because we have been with New Tribes Mission since Jen and I got married almost 6 years ago. NTM has been our life and the focus of our plans for all these years, so to have it suddenly...gone...
We have been doing alot of praying, as well as many other people for us, and it looks like our life might be taking a completely different turn in direction from where we have been heading.
More on that later...
We are just happy to be in one place for a little while.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Traveling Family
I know...I know...I told everyone that I would update while we were on our long trip. I'm sorry I lied!
On April 7th our family left Missouri to travel for about a month. Well it is now May 4th and our trip is almost over.
Talk about a whirlwind trip!
We have driven over 2,500 miles and we are still in Wisconsin for a few more days! Add a round-trip flight from here to Idaho via Phoenix, AZ and the total for the month is going to be huge!
I am not going to write all about our trip right now because it would be a stink'n long post, but for the next few posts I am going to highlight different parts and adventures that we had!
So you all can start coming back and checking our blog because I am going to update it more regularly for a while!
On April 7th our family left Missouri to travel for about a month. Well it is now May 4th and our trip is almost over.
Talk about a whirlwind trip!
We have driven over 2,500 miles and we are still in Wisconsin for a few more days! Add a round-trip flight from here to Idaho via Phoenix, AZ and the total for the month is going to be huge!
I am not going to write all about our trip right now because it would be a stink'n long post, but for the next few posts I am going to highlight different parts and adventures that we had!
So you all can start coming back and checking our blog because I am going to update it more regularly for a while!
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Three Flowers
Isabella came running up to me the other day with three flowers that she had picked. She was so excited to show me that she had picked a, "Daddy flower, a Mommy flower and a Bella flower." Then she stopped and got this look on her face and said, "Oh, I forgot a flower for our Anarazell...I'll have to go pick one."It is amazing how little things like that can catch you unaware, but at the same time, we are glad that Anarazell still plays such a huge part in Isabella's life. Isabella is a big sister, even though her little sister isn't here with us. Even though we will always feel pain with her memory...We wouldn't want it any other way.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Baby Ayla
Well, I was so excited that we had internet in our house so I could update the blog more regularly...then I promptly ignore it for over a week! Oh, well.
I wanted to give an update on how Kris, Mary-Jane and baby Ayla were doing...and I have to say that they are doing quite well. It is a little hard on the family because Kris is here on campus with the two oldest children...as well as taking a full class load...and Mary-Jane pretty much stays with the baby, about 1 1/2 hours away. Ayla herself is doing great. She is nursing 4 times a day on her own, and that is exciting in itself. She is really tiny still, but I think gaining weight. Here is a picture of her. This picture is already 2 weeks old, but I can't imagine that she has grown too much more in that time!
Then we wanted to post of picture of the proud parents so you have a face to go with the name. Please remember to keep them in your prayers still. They still have a ways to go yet...
I wanted to give an update on how Kris, Mary-Jane and baby Ayla were doing...and I have to say that they are doing quite well. It is a little hard on the family because Kris is here on campus with the two oldest children...as well as taking a full class load...and Mary-Jane pretty much stays with the baby, about 1 1/2 hours away. Ayla herself is doing great. She is nursing 4 times a day on her own, and that is exciting in itself. She is really tiny still, but I think gaining weight. Here is a picture of her. This picture is already 2 weeks old, but I can't imagine that she has grown too much more in that time!
Then we wanted to post of picture of the proud parents so you have a face to go with the name. Please remember to keep them in your prayers still. They still have a ways to go yet...
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
New News?
One amazingly exciting piece of news for us is that we now have internet access in our house. I don't have to go for a walk, try to find an empty computer in the lab and then remember who I needed to write to and what I was supposed to do!! So I can now update my blog more often and keep in touch better.
Mary-Jane and Kris are doing well and so is Ayla. Thank you for your prayers. Jen and I took a trip up to the hospital this past Sunday and got to spend some time with them and the little one. She is soooo tiny! She makes Anarazell look big! Ayla will stay in the NICU for a while yet, but she is doing really well.
We had 113 tornados in Missouri on Sunday as well. One was 10 miles from the campus, so I guess that tornado alley is "open for the season!!" We were driving around that day up to the hospital and such, but God kept us safe! Thank-you all for praying!
I finished posting my book here so if you are interested...the whole thing is here.
And on a funny note...
Isabella crawled in bed the other morning before the alarm went off and she was running her hands along Jen's cheek and she said, "Mom, you cheeks are so warm, kinda like Playdoh...in the sun!" Kids...
Mary-Jane and Kris are doing well and so is Ayla. Thank you for your prayers. Jen and I took a trip up to the hospital this past Sunday and got to spend some time with them and the little one. She is soooo tiny! She makes Anarazell look big! Ayla will stay in the NICU for a while yet, but she is doing really well.
We had 113 tornados in Missouri on Sunday as well. One was 10 miles from the campus, so I guess that tornado alley is "open for the season!!" We were driving around that day up to the hospital and such, but God kept us safe! Thank-you all for praying!
I finished posting my book here so if you are interested...the whole thing is here.
And on a funny note...
Isabella crawled in bed the other morning before the alarm went off and she was running her hands along Jen's cheek and she said, "Mom, you cheeks are so warm, kinda like Playdoh...in the sun!" Kids...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Busy Week
Lot of things happen in a week. Since I do not yet have internet in my house it is harder for me to keep this updated like I want to.
So...what has happened...
We got our tickets to the west coast. That is exciting. Our trip begins on April 6th. We plan on driving up to Wisconsin and seeing our friends for a few days. There is a "bereavement" seminar up there focusing on people who have lost children. It is only one day and some of the workshops are issues that Jen and I have been going through...so we thought it would be a good idea to go to that. We thought that since we were up there we should just fly out of there. So we leave Milwauke and land in Boise, ID on the 11th.
Jen and I are excited to see our friends from our church in Weiser, ID. We will visit everyone there and stay for Easter Sunday and the drive down to So. Oregon to visit our families and home church. We hope to have a little memorial ceremony for our Anarazell while we are there.
We will be back here in MO. first week of May. SO we are going to gone from here for over a month! Crazy...just the way things worked out.
We have a prayer request...
Our friends Kris and Mary-Jane just had their third daughter, Ayla Joy. She was 9 weeks early.
Sine Christmas break Mary-Jane has been on bed rest because of complications in the pregnancy. They have a 4 and a 2 year old as well, so Kris has been Mr. Mom for a while. So when we got back in Jan. Jen made it her personal mission to help them out as much as possible. Jen has been doing laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning house for them...anything to help.
Well, they had to go to a hospital about 1 1/2 hours away to deliver the baby and now she has to stay in the NICU for quite a while. Thankfully she is doing well, she doesn't even need oxygen. She was 3 lbs 15 oz...17 1/4 inches long. And we thought Anarazell was tiny!!!
So Ayla has to stay in the NICU anywhere from 1- 2 1/2 months. So please pray that she stays healthy and no coplications arise with her. Also for her family as Kris is going to stay here on campus with the other two children and try to continue his classes and Mary-Jane is going to live close to the hospital. Lot of things going through their minds and hearts right now.
So...what has happened...
We got our tickets to the west coast. That is exciting. Our trip begins on April 6th. We plan on driving up to Wisconsin and seeing our friends for a few days. There is a "bereavement" seminar up there focusing on people who have lost children. It is only one day and some of the workshops are issues that Jen and I have been going through...so we thought it would be a good idea to go to that. We thought that since we were up there we should just fly out of there. So we leave Milwauke and land in Boise, ID on the 11th.
Jen and I are excited to see our friends from our church in Weiser, ID. We will visit everyone there and stay for Easter Sunday and the drive down to So. Oregon to visit our families and home church. We hope to have a little memorial ceremony for our Anarazell while we are there.
We will be back here in MO. first week of May. SO we are going to gone from here for over a month! Crazy...just the way things worked out.
We have a prayer request...
Our friends Kris and Mary-Jane just had their third daughter, Ayla Joy. She was 9 weeks early.
Sine Christmas break Mary-Jane has been on bed rest because of complications in the pregnancy. They have a 4 and a 2 year old as well, so Kris has been Mr. Mom for a while. So when we got back in Jan. Jen made it her personal mission to help them out as much as possible. Jen has been doing laundry, dishes, cooking and cleaning house for them...anything to help.
Well, they had to go to a hospital about 1 1/2 hours away to deliver the baby and now she has to stay in the NICU for quite a while. Thankfully she is doing well, she doesn't even need oxygen. She was 3 lbs 15 oz...17 1/4 inches long. And we thought Anarazell was tiny!!!
So Ayla has to stay in the NICU anywhere from 1- 2 1/2 months. So please pray that she stays healthy and no coplications arise with her. Also for her family as Kris is going to stay here on campus with the other two children and try to continue his classes and Mary-Jane is going to live close to the hospital. Lot of things going through their minds and hearts right now.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Isabella's 3rd Birthday
The little princess of the day. I can hardly believe that she is 3!!!
Grant and Sarah enjoying some cake and ice cream.
"Auntie" Jess came up from Pheniox, AZ for almost a week. It was really good to have her visiting. She was at Isabella's birth as well as her 1st B-day party, so it was special that she could be here for her 3rd as well.
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