One by one, He took them from me,
All the things I valued most,
Until I was empty-handed,
Every glittering toy was lost.
Then I walked earth's highway greaving,
In my rags and poverty,
'Till I heard His voice inviting,
Lift your empty hands to me.
So I raised my hands t'ward heaven,
And He filled them with a store,
Of His own transendent riches,
'Till they could contain no more.
Then at last I comprehended,
In this stupid mind and dull,
That God could not poor His riches,
Into hands already full.
I heard this song when I was about ten, and it is the one that has been running through my head this whole week. When this all started...only six days ago now...I was talking to my pastor from S.Oregon and I mentioned that I have nothing else to give. My hands are empty. I said that all I have left is a life of a family member, and I wasn't ready to give that up.
Well, it looks like God thinks I am.
We meet with the docs today, and our beautiful Anarazell will never get better in this life. She can't breath, digest, hear, see or think. She is only kept alive by modern technology.
Our baby is going to go to heaven, and there is nothing I can do about it, but choose when.
I have known her for less then a week, and I feel like my heart is being torn out.
I didn't know it was possible to hurt so bad.
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23 comments:
I don't know what to say other than my heart aches for you.
Lots of love,
Karen Ross
Dear Justin and Jen,
How our hearts ache for you guys and the decisions that need to be made. I can't even begin to imagine the torture that that would be.
It is a good thing to remember in times like these that God is ALL-knowing, ALL-powerful and ALL-loving.
In Christ,
Tom and Tanya Robinson
NTLI:)
I'm so sorry to hear this news. Praying for God to give you strength and peace.
Dear Justin and Jen.
We will keep praying for you guys.
Y.J & young in Chung at NTLI.
Dear Jen & Justin,
Please be assured of our love and prayers for you... how hard it is when the Lord gives and the Lord takes... our hearts reach out to you as our tears flow with yours.. Thank you for keeping us abreast of all that's transpiring. The pictures are awe-some... she is beautiful! Love, Dave & Jena
"For the life of every living thing is in His hand, and the breath of all humanity." Job
Justin and Jennifer, Our prayers are with you during these difficult days. A verse the Lord used in my life when we went through a trial with our daughter, was Romans 8:28. It's been over 20 years since the Lord took our Nancy home, but those words still bring comfort to me.
John and Sandi Hagen
Justin & Jennifer,
My husband & I are praying.
Please make good use of these:
jessicascott00@gmail.com
scott77411@yahoo.com
my husband's blog is http://billscott1974.blogspot.com/
Justin, I think that you & my husband (Bill) will get along very well.
Jennifer, please call me, at ANY TIME (day or night). I just want to be there for you both.
All our love & Prayers,
Jessica
Dear Justin and Jen:
I found you through Shenna's blog, and I'd like to share with you my prayer for you and your family:
**********
Lord I thank You for your grace and mercy in all of our lives. I thank You for the fact that we can and DO call you "The Great Physician". Lord, nothing... NOTHING is too great for You. Nothing is impossible for You. I pray right now in Jesus name for a MIRACLE in this child's little body. Lord You know what exactly it is that is ailing this little baby, and God I just pray for your miracle working power to fall on this precious child. Lord heal this child, in Jesus name. Give her little body strenth, give her parents emotional strength, and Lord, I thank You for them Lord, that You are using them in mighty ways to further Your Kingdom.
In Jesus name I pray,
AMEN
**********
I will continue to pray for you, your family, and your sweet and precious little girl.
In Him,
~Stephanie
Justin and Jennifer,
My heart weeps intensly with you. I too have had my child in the NICU and though he lived, he almost died three different times. We had to say goodbye three times as the doctors thought he would die. So I know the pain you are feeling right now very well. I am here for you...please talk to me if you need to simply pour out your heart as I have been there.
My email address is: scott77411
@yahoo.com
I am praying!
Father,
My heart weeps and sobs as this nightmare unfolds right before Justin and Jennifers eyes. Oh God have mercy...please cause everyone to see your goodness in the midst of this heart ache. Please heal the broken and shattered hearts that are weeping hysterically due to these circumstances beyond your control. And of you choose to do so, please heal Anarazell fully even if that means bringing her home to you.....Oh God pour out your mercy and compassion in this hard time.
In my prayer I meant to say beyond our control, not Gods control...
Dear Justin and Jennifer!
We hardly can imagine how much it must hurt. I wish that I could be with you Jennifer. We are praying for you - that He might give you His strength to go through that. If you want to talk - please call - and we will call back!!!
Love Thomas &Petra
I just wanted you to know that I will be praying for you and your family. My heart is breaking just reading your story so I can not imagine how you must be feeling. God will bring you through this time though. Focus on God and He will bring you through.
There are no words...
Just know that there are prayers holding you together, and holding you up when you feel that you don't have the strength.
My prayers are with you. My heart is heavy for you and your darling baby girl. Oh Father, if we ever needed your strength, this couple needs it now!
I will be praying for you guys, that God will give you peace and comfort during this very difficult time.
- Jen F in Knoxville TN
jenbother@yahoo.com
Justin and Jennifer,
My heart and prayers are with you. I have been praying for you since Kathy called me on the way to childrens after Anarzell was born. May God give you peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Christine Runde
crunde@wi.rr.com
Hi, I'm Wendi, Katie's mom, and I tried to write last night, but it kept coming back to me. Your precious family has been in my heart and foremost in my prayers since Friday. I've been praying for a miracle, and we know that God always answers, but not always in our way. Last night I was struck by Anarazell's middle name, Joy. In my Bible study I have learned that joy is not dependent on our circumstances, but on a right relationship with Jesus Christ. I pray for you to be filled with this joy. Our true home awaits us all in heaven. Emmanuel.
Hello guys,
I know I can't say much to make the hurt go away, but I just wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.
~Vanessa~
Jennifer and Justin,
Know that you are in our prayers.
Patti and Mike Hartnett
Hi, my name is Liz Borbe and my heart hurts for you both....as I know exactly the hurt and confusion you now face....we have a son that was born brain dead due to the U cord wrapped around his neck, causing complete brain damage, he did nothing when he was born and we were told he would not live. His name is Ezra and he is now 10 months old. It has been a long road, with much work, but God has given us the strength. He is our miracle and because of the power of prayer, he is here with us today....we were told to let him go....but we never had the peace from God to do so....people were praying as they are for your sweet little one...I know the circumstances are not exactly the same, but know that I am praying for you mommy....it is so hard to know your sweet one within you and then have to hold a whole other child....take courage, GOD is your strength....God's ways are higher than ours and His is Sovereign and His goodness and grace will see you through....trust in HIM, your rock and giver of PERFECT peace....when we were in the hospital on the "roller coaster ride" of emotions, the only thing I could cling to was..."He holds the future in His hands..." May this encourage you and uplift you....God has created your sweet one and truly has give you both such peace, your testimony has reached me here in Missouri :)
I heard about you from a friend at the LI, my husband and I completed the training with NTM and my husband is now a youth pastor in Camdenton.....hold onto your Perfect Shepherd....He will lead you.
In His GOODNESS,
Liz Borbe
I'm so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.
Jenn
Justin and Jennifer;
I pray that my words do not sound hollow.
5 years ago, my husband and I made the decision to let our son go. It took us 16 days to reach that decision, and he is safe in heaven, but not a day goes by that I don't miss him. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful.
Your hearts are heavy. I have been there - the anger and the grief. No words can take away that away - even knowing that God is in charge doesn't take the sick feeling and absolute heartwrenching sadness away that makes you want to scream and yell and cry and collapse in a heap and hide, hoping that you will wake up from this smothering nightmare. I truly believe that God allowed us our experience in order to help others. Please feel free to email me jenn_mac1@hotmail.com if you need to talk, vent, or share your grief,anger, sadness, numbness.
It has been a difficult road. The sun did shine again for us, and it will for you too. Until then, my prayers are with you today.
Justin and Jennifer,
Word can not express how our hearts are grieving right now.But it really hurts. I want you to know that we love you all and are praying for you continually.
Rely on His strength through this and He will give you rest. We are all praying and weeping for you! I wish we could be there to hold you during this time.
She is such a gorgous little baby! She looks like a little Bella!
We love and miss you!
Cass,Becki,Amanda and Adam Shell
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